Why Your Child Needs Labeled Praise—Not Just “Good Job”

By Dr. Muhammad Zeshan, Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist
Inside Out CURE Psychiatry, Princeton, NJ

Every child enters this world holding a universe of potential—
hidden strengths, tender dreams, and abilities waiting to unfold.
But these gifts do not flourish automatically.
They grow when children feel seen, valued, and recognized for their efforts.

And one of the most powerful tools a parent can use is praise—
but not just any praise.

The Power of Labeled Praise vs. Unlabeled Praise

Many parents say “Good job!” or “Well done!”
Those words are kind and positive,
but they miss the opportunity to shape identity and build confidence.

Unlabeled Praise

Generic praise that focuses on the child in a vague way.

Examples:

“Good job!”
“Wow, that’s great!”
“You’re amazing!”

These feel good momentarily—but they don’t tell the child what they did right or what behavior to repeat.

Labeled Praise

Specific, clear, meaningful praise that highlights exactly what the child did well.

Examples:

“I love how gently you shared your toys with your sister.”
“I noticed how hard you tried on your homework. That perseverance is amazing!”
“Thank you for cleaning up your room without being asked. That shows responsibility.”
“You stayed calm even when you were upset—that’s real emotional strength.”

Do you feel the difference?

Unlabeled praise boosts the moment.
Labeled praise builds the child.

Why Labeled Praise Changes Everything

When a child hears labeled praise, they receive three powerful messages:

1. “My effort matters.”

You’re not praising the result—you’re praising the attempt.
This grows persistence and grit.

2. “My behavior is seen.”

Children crave being noticed.
When you name the behavior, they feel valued and understood.

3. “I can repeat this.”

Labeled praise becomes a roadmap for future behavior.
It tells the child exactly what they did right—so they can do it again.

Praise Plants the Seeds of Lifelong Confidence

When children’s small efforts are ignored, their inner voice weakens:
“I guess what I do isn’t important.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I shouldn’t even try.”

But when their efforts are seen—
when their kindness, bravery, effort, patience, or responsibility is labeled—
something powerful awakens inside them:

Self-belief.

The belief that “I can do it.”
The belief that “I matter.”
The belief that “My choices have value.”

Praise becomes the oxygen that nurtures resilience.

Try This Today: One Action Step

Choose one moment—today—when your child does something positive.
Pause.
Notice the effort.
Then use a labeled praise like:

“I really appreciate how patiently you waited your turn. That shows maturity.”

This one sentence can change your child’s emotional world for the entire day.
Sometimes, it can change the trajectory of their future.

Because a tiny bit of labeled praise
is never tiny.
It shapes identity, strengthens character,
and builds the confidence children will need
for the rest of their lives.

Written by Dr. Muhammad Zeshan (Dr. Z)  Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist | Parenting & Emotional Wellness Coach  www.InsideOutMZ.com  Follow @ParentingWithDrZ for daily inspiration @insideoutcure

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