All posts by : Dr. Z

In every neighborhood and community worldwide, parents strive to create safe, loving environments for their children. Occasionally, life reveals its surprises, and the recent revelation of a beloved child’s sexual orientation is one such moment that can stir deep emotions. When a fellow parent discovers their child is gay, it’s a significant and often challenging crossroads. As friends, our instinct is to offer support, yet finding the right approach can sometimes be daunting. Fortunately, there are meaningful and heartfelt ways to be that pillar of strength for a friend in need.

First and foremost, empathy is your greatest ally in these moments. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine the mixed feelings they might be experiencing. This period is often fraught with confusion, elation, concern, and a myriad of other emotions. Offering a listening ear can be profoundly therapeutic. Sometimes, parents just need someone to hear them out without judgment, advice, or interruption. A simple statement like, “I’m here for you no matter what,” can be a balm to their anxious heart.

Moreover, understanding the journey they are about to embark on is crucial. Educate yourself about what it means to have a gay child in today’s society. There are countless resources available—books, online articles, support groups—that provide valuable insights into the experiences of LGBTQ+ youths and their families. By becoming informed, you’ll be better prepared to offer informed, compassionate support.

Encouraging open communication is equally important. Let them know it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling – be it pride, worry, or confusion. Reassure them that their emotions are valid and that it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Remind them that love and understanding are the foundations of navigating this new chapter with their child.

Furthermore, advocate for acceptance within your shared community. Sometimes, a parent might fear societal judgment or stigma more than anything else. In such cases, lending your voice to promote inclusivity and acceptance can make a world of difference. It signals that they are not alone and that your community stands with them, creating a network of support and love.
Lastly, celebrate with them. Coming out is a monumental step for their child, and it symbolizes courage and honesty. By celebrating this truth, you reinforce the beauty and love inherent in the revelation. Your unwavering support can turn a period of uncertainty into a time of proud affirmations and strengthened bonds.

In every story shared, in every tear and smile, remember that being there for a friend in times of transition binds our communities closer. Your kindness and support during their journey affirm that love, indeed, is the most powerful force we share. So, let’s rise together, ensuring that no parent—and certainly no child—ever feels alone on this path of discovery and acceptance.

A profound and complex aspect of the medical profession- where the ethos of care for others often overshadows self-care and self-advocacy. This contrast y arises from various factors:

1. Cultural and Professional Expectations: The medical profession is often seen as a vocation, emphasizing self-sacrifice and selflessness. Physicians are expected to prioritize patient care above all else, sometimes at the expense of their own well-being.
   This cultural norm can create a mindset where advocating for personal benefits or needs feels contradictory to the professional rationale.
2. Training and Conditioning: Medical training focuses intensely on patient care, often in high-stress, high-stakes environments. This can condition physicians to deprioritize their own needs, as the immediate focus is always on the patient. Over time, this mindset can become deeply ingrained further enforcing the lack of self-care.
3. Perception of Self-Advocacy as Selfishness: Many physicians worry that negotiating for better compensation or work conditions might be perceived as selfish or greedy, especially when contrasted with the noble image of a “self-sacrificing” doctor.
4. Lack of Training in Negotiation and Self-Advocacy: Medical education typically does not include training in negotiation and self-advocacy skills. This lack of training can leave physicians feeling unprepared and uncomfortable when it comes to contract negotiations and personal advocacy.
5. Fear of Repercussions: There can be a fear that advocating for oneself might lead to negative judgments or repercussions in a profession that often values resignation and endurance.
6. Empathy and Compassion Fatigue: Physicians are trained and naturally inclined to empathize with their patients. This constant outpouring of empathy, especially in emotionally draining situations, can lead to compassion fatigue, where there’s little emotional energy left to address one’s own needs.
7. Guilt and Responsibility: Physicians often carry a deep sense of responsibility for their patients’ well-being. This can lead to feelings of guilt when prioritizing their own needs, as it might seem like a diversion from their duty to care for others.
8. Difficulty in Setting Boundaries: The intense demands of the medical profession often blur the lines between personal and professional life. Many physicians find it challenging to set boundaries that protect their personal time and well-being.

To address these challenges, it’s important for medical professionals to recognize the value of self-care and self-advocacy as integral to their overall effectiveness and longevity in their careers. Building a support network, seeking mentorship, engaging in open discussions about these issues, and developing negotiation skills can be vital steps in changing this dynamic. Remember, taking care of oneself is not just beneficial on a personal level; it ultimately enhances the capacity to provide the best care for patients.

The holiday season can be a joyous and magical time for families, but let’s be real— it can also be incredibly stressful, especially when you have kids to manage. From the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping and events to the inevitable sugar highs from all the treats, it’s no wonder many parents feel like they are barely surviving the holidays and worry they are going to lose it. But fear not! With a few
simple strategies, you can not only survive the holidays with your kids but actually enjoy the season with peace and harmony.

One key strategy for surviving the holidays with kids is to set realistic expectations. It’s easy to get caught up in the picture-perfect image of the holidays, but the truth is, things may not always go as planned. Embrace the chaos and be flexible with your plans. This will help reduce stress and allow you to focus on the moments that truly matter.

Another important tip is to prioritize self-care. It’s easy for parents to neglect their own well-being during the holidays, but taking care of yourself is crucial for maintaining peace and harmony. Make sure to carve out time for relaxation and self-care, whether it’s a solo walk in the park, a bubble bath, or simply taking a few moments to yourself each day.

In addition, it’s helpful to involve your kids in the holiday preparations. Not only does this provide them with a sense of ownership and responsibility, but it also creates lasting memories for the whole family. Whether it’s decorating the tree, baking cookies, or wrapping presents, getting the kids involved can make the holidays feel less like a burden and more like a team effort.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to say no. With so many social obligations during the holidays, it can be overwhelming trying to please everyone. Remember that it’s okay to decline invitations or limit the number of events you attend. Prioritize your family’s well-being and cherish the time spent together.

By setting realistic expectations, prioritizing self-care, involving your kids, and learning to say no, you can not only survive the holidays with your kids but also create meaningful and peaceful memories that will last a lifetime. So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and enjoy the magic of the season. You’ve got this!

As the summer heats up, parents of children with sensory processing disorder or autism spectrum disorder may feel apprehensive about navigating loud celebrations, such as the upcoming 4th of July festivities. This can be a challenging time for both parents and children but with some simple strategies in place, it is possible to create a happy and healthy experience for everyone.

One key technique is to create a quiet space at the event. This could be a tent, a designated room, or even a quiet corner outside. Setting aside a quiet space can help overstimulated children feel more grounded and safe. It’s also important to bring along sensory tools, toys, noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blankets, or fidget toys. These can help children regulate their own sensory input, which can reduce stress and anxiety.

Another strategy is to maintain a routine as much as possible. If the child has a typical bedtime or mealtime, try to stick to this as much as possible. Also, make sure to bring along familiar foods and drinks that the child likes and is accustomed to. This can help the child feel more comfortable and in control, which can reduce the likelihood of behavior challenges.

Additionally, parents can use visual supports, like pictures or schedules, to help children understand what will happen at the event and when. This can reduce anxiety and help the child feel more prepared. On top of that, parents can share the schedule with other family members or friends as well, this helps everyone be on the same page and support the child together.

Finally, if the child does have a meltdown or a behavior challenge, remember to stay calm. Try not to get upset or angry, and instead, use gentle language and gestures to support the child. Take a break in the quiet space and try to soothe the child using familiar tools. This will help the child feel understood and supported, which can make a big difference in their overall experience.

By using these strategies, parents can help create a supportive and healthy environment for children with sensory processing disorder or autism spectrum disorder during loud celebrations such as the 4th of July. Remember to be patient, flexible, and supportive, and your child will have a much better chance of enjoying the festivities alongside everyone else.

Teaching children about inclusivity is an important and necessary task for parents, but it can sometimes feel daunting. How do you explain such a complex concept to young minds in a way that they can understand and embrace?

Inclusivity means including everyone, regardless of their background, abilities, or beliefs. It’s about treating others with kindness and respect, no matter how different they may be from us.

The first step in teaching children about inclusivity is to lead by example. Show them through your actions that you value diversity and inclusion. Encourage them to play with children from different cultural backgrounds, and teach them to embrace their differences rather than fear them.

One way to explain inclusivity to children is by using simple, relatable examples. You could explain that just like how they wouldn’t want to be left out of a game, it’s important not to leave others out. Help them understand that everyone deserves to feel included and valued.

You can also read books or watch movies that feature diverse characters and stories. This can help children understand that the world is made up of people from all walks of life, and that we should celebrate those differences rather than discriminate against them.

It’s important to talk openly with your children about inclusivity, especially when they witness discrimination or exclusion. Teach them that standing up for others and speaking out against unfair treatment is a powerful way to promote inclusivity.

Encourage your children to ask questions and express their thoughts and feelings about inclusivity. It’s okay if they don’t fully understand the concept at first; the most important thing is to foster open and honest conversations.

By teaching children about inclusivity, parents are helping to shape a future generation that values and respects diversity. It’s a crucial lesson that can make a positive impact, not only in their lives, but in the lives of others as well.

As the school year winds down and the prospect of summer vacation glimmers on the horizon, parents—and their children—face a unique set of challenges. Maintaining focus in these final weeks can be a test of resilience and patience for the whole family. Through my experience as a parent coach and a certified Maxwell Leadership coach, alongside my specialty in infant and toddler psychiatry, I’ve come to understand the importance of nurturing not just the mind, but the spirit of our children as we guide them across the finish line of the academic year.

First and foremost, it’s essential to embody a positive attitude. I often remind families that optimism at home can be mirrored by children. Reflect on the year’s journey with your child, emphasizing the growth and the perseverance they’ve demonstrated. Throughout my practice, encouraging families to adopt this uplifting perspective has often helped diffuse tension and supported children in their final push.

Communication with your child’s teachers is also paramount. In my professional capacity, collaborating with educators has been a cornerstone of ensuring children’s needs are fully understood and met. I urge you to keep that dialogue open; it’s a partnership that can foster your child’s success, particularly during these high-pressure times.

Introducing a reward system can be a little spark of extra motivation for your child. Reflecting on my coaching experiences, I’ve seen firsthand the positive effects of acknowledging children’s efforts with meaningful incentives. Whether it’s a favorite activity or a simple treat, these rewards can serve as tangible recognition of their hard work.

Moreover, the importance of breaks cannot be overstated. In my dual roles, I often highlight the value of balance—allowing children to indulge in their hobbies and interests gives them a chance to recharge. It’s crucial for maintaining their overall well-being and focus as they conclude their academic responsibilities.

Lastly, the celebration of accomplishments, big or small, is a powerful tool. In my work with families, I’ve seen the glow of pride in a child’s eyes that comes from their parents’ recognition. Their hard work deserves acknowledgment. It builds confidence and instills a sense of achievement that can embolden them through the final days of school and into the summer.

Remember, dear parents, that as you guide your child through these last few weeks of school, your support, open communication, and encouragement are invaluable. By incorporating these tips rooted in my professional insight and personal commitment to serving whole families, you can ensure your child not only finishes the school year strong but carries with them the lessons and confidence of a job well done.

Together, let’s continue to nurture our children’s love for learning and celebrate each step they take towards growth—readying them for the joy and freedom of the upcoming summer break.

When Pride Month approaches, many parents wonder how they can best support their children understanding the celebrations and history of the LGBTQ+ Community. It may seem daunting, but there are several ways to help your child gain a better understanding of this important month.

First and foremost, it’s important to listen to your child’s questions and concerns with an open mind and heart. Allow them to express themselves and feel free to ask questions if you don’t understand something. Remember, it’s okay to not have all the answers. This can also be an opportunity to learn and grow alongside your child.

Next, consider doing some research together. Find age-appropriate books, videos, and articles that explain the history of Pride Month. This can help your child understand the struggles and triumphs of the LGBTQ+ Community, as well as the importance of self-expression and acceptance.

You can also attend Pride events with your child if they are age-appropriate and comfortable for your family. This can be a way to show support and solidarity and can provide an opportunity for your child to see diversity and inclusivity that the LGBTQ+ Community embraces.

Another way to support your child during Pride Month and beyond, is to donate time and resources to LGBTQ+ organizations. This can help your child understand the importance of giving back and support communities that may not have the same privilege and rights of others.

Remember, supporting your child(ren) during Pride Month isn’t just about learning the history and celebrating the accomplishments of the LGBTQ+ community. It’s also about fostering a sense of acceptance and love for all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation and gender identities.

In conclusion, supporting your child’s understanding of Pride Month and beyond doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By listening, learning together, attending events, donating and promoting acceptance, you can help your child gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for the LGBTQ+ community. Let’s work together to create a more inclusive and accepting world for all! Happy Pride!

It’s Juneteenth—a celebration resplendent with joy, history, and the vibrant acknowledgment of freedom. Yet, for many parents, this day prompts an essential question: How do I explain Juneteenth to my child?
Juneteenth commemorates the emancipation of enslaved African Americans and is celebrated annually on June 19th. It marks the day in 1865 when Union soldiers arrived in Galveston, Texas, with news that the Civil War had ended and enslaved people were free — two and a half years after President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation.

To explain this significant day, parents can approach the conversation with warmth and honesty. Start by highlighting the value of freedom and equality, which are universal concepts even young minds can grasp. Children inherently understand fairness, making this a good starting point.

A practical way to begin is by drawing a simple comparison to a widely known history. For example, mention how Independence Day commemorates America’s freedom from British rule. This can set a relatable foundation. Then, introduce Juneteenth as another important celebration of freedom—one that specifically honors the accomplishments and resilience of African Americans.

History may appear daunting, but sharing stories makes it accessible. Parents might tell the story of Gordon Granger, the Union general who delivered the news of freedom in Texas, finally liberating those who had endured many hardships. Storytime can transform complex events into memorable, digestible lessons.

To further the conversation, parents can involve their children in Juneteenth activities. Reading age-appropriate books about Juneteenth can provide a visual and narrative aid. Creating arts and crafts with traditional Juneteenth colors—red, green, and black—can add a personal touch, allowing children to feel connected to the celebration.

In explaining why we honor and respect Juneteenth, it’s beneficial to underline the strength and perseverance of African American communities. Share that it’s a day not only to reflect on a painful chapter in history but to celebrate resilience, achievements, and future progress.

Lastly, embrace your child’s questions and curiosity. Encourage them to think critically and compassionately about the world around them. Parents themselves may not have all the answers, but willingness to learn together can strengthen the bond and understanding in both the child and the parent.

Through simple, heartfelt communication and engaging activities, parents can provide their children with a meaningful understanding of Juneteenth. It’s a powerful way to instill respect for history and diverse cultures, ensuring that the spirit of Juneteenth continues to inspire future generations.

As time has passed, teenage suicide has become a much more significant health concern as the rates of adolescent suicide have risen over the past decade.

It is our duty as caregivers, guardians, and parents to be proactive in preventing such tragedies. The CDC has stated that suicide is the second leading cause of death among individuals from the ages of 10-24 years. We must be aware of the risk factors that are present and take steps to support their well-being and mental health.

Today we will discuss evidence-based means that parents can implement to decrease the risk of teenage suicide:

1) Foster Open Communication In Your Household:

a) Simply put, adolescents who feel connected to their parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors (Especially suicidal ideation).
Effective communication in all regards is foundational to supporting their mental well-being. One must encourage non-judgmental and open discussions with their child about their challenges, feelings, and any other ideas that they may be facing. By listening attentively and validating their emotions and human experience, you foster the ability to grow a strong bond with them which will allow for a reduction in risky behavior (Sanders, 2019)

2) Be Mindful of Warning Signs:

a) This is one of the more important things on this, somewhat short, list. Even if one can develop a field of open and honest communication with their child, they may still not be aware of their true feelings. One should be aware of the early warning signs of depression and even suicide. This is not an extensive list by any means but look for sudden changes in mood, withdrawal from friends and other social activities, anhedonia (Loss of pleasure from activities they once thoroughly enjoyed), academic decline, depreciative
self-talk, and or harm. By staying vigilant, and catching the early signs of depression, one will be able to further assist their child before things progress to more significant levels of depression.
(National Institute of Mental Health, 2020)

3) Create a Supportive Environment & Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms:

a) One should encourage activities that promote mindfulness as well as relaxation. Finding a creative outlet for your child to express their inner self, and exercise meditation are all wonderful examples of this and the possibilities are endless. Furthermore ensuring that your child gets enough sleep maintains a nutritional and balanced diet avoiding substance use are all factors that enable a reduction in potential risky Behavior.
Furthermore by being able to cultivate an environment in which your child feels safe and valued at home (whether it be by participating in the aforementioned activities, or otherwise) is extremely important as well. Strong family support as well as social connections in the form of friends and other authoritative influences have been shown to be protective factors against risky behavior in teenagers.

(Reinherz et al., 2019) & (Wasserman et al., 2021)

4) Seek Professional Help If/When Needed:

a) Simply put, dont hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Asking for it is a sign of strength and not weakness, Mental health professionals are trained to assess, diagnose, and treat mental health disorders in all spectrums of severity, and intervention has been shown (Whether it be therapy, medication or a combination) to reduce the chances of risky behavior in this age group; intervention is vital.

(American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2018)

As we have described above parents play a vital role in supporting teenagers’ mental health andreducing the risk of suicide. By employing the above we can further help teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence with a more positive outlook.

References:

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2018). Practice parameter for the assessment and treatment of children and adolescents with suicidal behavior. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 57(10), 742-753
National Institute of Mental Health. (2020). Suicide in America: Frequently Asked Questions.
Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide.shtml.
Reinherz, H. Z., Tanner, J. L., Berger, S. R., Beardslee, W. R., Fitzmaurice, G. M., & Goldman,
D. (2019). Adolescent suicidal ideation as predictive of psychopathology, suicidal behavior, and compromised functioning at age 30. American Journal of Psychiatry, 176(7), 548-555.

Sanders, J. (2019). Parent-child communication: A mediator of the relation between parent attachment and depression in adolescents. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28(3), 803-814.

Wasserman, D., Apter, A., Feder, A., Hoven, C. W., Márquez, M., Olfson, M., … & Zalsman, G.
(2021). Suicidal Behavior in Children and Adolescents: Epidemiology and Risk Factors. Annual
Review of Clinical Psychology, 17, 277-293.

Submitted By:

Shardil Ahmad
4th Year Medical Student
St. George’s Medical School 2025

Do you ever find yourself worrying about your child’s ability to stand up for themselves? As parents, we naturally want to protect our children, and shield them from any potential harm or discomfort. However, it’s crucial to equip them with the essential life skill or self-advocacy. In this blog post, we will explore a few practical ways to teach your child how to assertively express their needs and navigate through life’s challenges.

1. Encouraging Effective Communication:

Verbal expression is the cornerstone of self-advocacy. Encourage your child to voice their opinions, desires, and concerns openly and respectfully. Engage in meaningful conversations with your child, actively listening to their thoughts and feelings. Teach them to use “I” statements to assert their needs, such as, “I feel frustrated when….,” ensuring they understand that their emotions and experiences
are valid.

2. Building Self-Confidence:

Self-confidence is the key to effective self-advocacy. Encourage your child’s strengths and talents, boosting their belief in themselves. Recognize and celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small, instilling a sense of pride and self-assurance. Empower them to make choices and decisions, fostering a sense of autonomy and responsibility.

3. Teaching Problem-Solving Skills:

The ability to identify and solve problems is crucial for effective self-advocacy. Guide your child through various scenarios, encouraging them to brainstorm solutions independently. Teach them to break down complex challenges into smaller, manageable steps. By equipping them with problem-solving skills, you are empowering them to take charge of their own lives.

4. Practicing Assertiveness:

Assertiveness is the foundation of self-advocacy. Teach your child to express their thoughts, opinions, and desires in a confident yet respectful manner. Role-play different situations, such as requesting help from a teach or resolving disagreements with peers, helping them develop assertive communication style.

5. Encouraging Self-Awareness:

Self-advocacy begins with self-awareness. Help your child identify their strengths, weaknesses, and areas where they need support. By understanding themselves better, they can effectively communication their needs and expectations to others. Foster an environment where your child feels uncomfortable expressing their emotions and seeking your guidance.

Remember, teaching your child to advocate for themselves is an investment in their future success. By encouraging effective communication, building self-confidence, teaching problem-solving skills, practicing assertiveness, and encouraging self-awareness, you are nurturing their ability to stand up for themselves in a world that often demands it. So, take a step back, empower them, and watch as they unlock their inner potential, proving that they are capable of advocating for themselves with grace and conviction.