Honoring my father is more than a duty; it’s a privilege. It is a way to reflect on the immense impact he has had on my upbringing, my professional life, and my role as a father. My father wasn’t just a man who spoke about values—he lived them. Through his actions, he showed me what it means to live with generosity, compassion, and an unwavering commitment to helping others.
One of the most enduring memories I have of him is rooted in his restaurant, which he named to reflect his heart and commitment to serving the poor. My father had a clear intention: no family, no parent, no child should go hungry. Regardless of whether someone could pay, they were always served a hot meal. As a child, I once questioned why he would do this, especially when it was possible that some people might take advantage of his kindness. His response left an indelible mark on me: “I give with a good heart because it’s what God wants me to do. What others do with that gift is between them and their God.” That moment shaped my understanding of giving—to give without judgment, trusting that the act itself was meaningful.
When my father passed away in 2019, I was in the United States, unable to attend his funeral due to the distance, my inability to get there quick enough and the demands of my residency. The grief was heavy, compounded by guilt and sadness for not being able to say goodbye. I wrestled with my decisions, questioning why I had only returned home once in six years. During this period, I found solace in an unlikely place: the children’s movie Inside Out. The film’s exploration of memory and its role in shaping identity resonated deeply with me. It reminded me of the memories my father had given me—memories of his kindness, his faith, and his unwavering love for humanity. These memories became my anchor, guiding me through my grief and helping me find purpose in honoring his legacy.
Connecting with his friends and hearing their stories about him brought me a deeper understanding of his impact. Since I had left, he had helped countless individuals access medical treatment, supported children’s education, and provided for families in need—all without discrimination based on their background, faith, or identity. Knowing this filled me with pride and joy, transforming my grief into a profound sense of purpose. With the support of a therapist, I realized that my way of grieving was through action—by living out the values he had instilled in me.
This realization became the driving force behind my journey. Inspired by my father’s example, I’ve sought to make a difference in the lives of others in Pakistan as well. I piloted the first transgender mental health community center, empowering individuals to find dignified ways to support themselves. Out of ten participants, five have graduated and are now leading fulfilling lives. I’ve worked to empower Christian minorities, supported the children of sex workers in their education, and inaugurated the first autism center in Pakistan. Each of these initiatives is a reflection of the values my father showed me through his life.
My father didn’t tell me what to do; he showed me through his actions. These lessons became intrinsic to my core values. People often ask me how they can pass on similar values to their children, especially when raising them in different cultural contexts, like here in the United States. My answer is simple: children learn through what they see. My father’s values became mine because I witnessed them in action. Similarly, I strive to show my own children the power of giving through my actions. It’s not about expecting them to inherit my spirit of generosity—it’s about creating an environment where they can see its impact and find their own path.
My father also taught me the importance of unconditional support. When I chose psychiatry—a field not widely respected in my home country—he stood by me, even when others mocked my decision. When I married my wife in the U.S., a choice that wasn’t culturally traditional, he asked me only one question: “Are you happy?” His unwavering support gave me the confidence to pursue my dreams and be true to myself. It’s a lesson I carry into my own fatherhood, striving to support my children in becoming whoever they choose to be. That unwavering support taught me that love isn’t about control or expectations; it’s about empowering someone to be who they truly are.
In honoring my father’s legacy, I hope to pass on not just values but a way of living that inspires others to give, to help, and to love unconditionally. My father’s heart continues to guide me, and I pray that his legacy will light a fire within my children—and all those whose lives I touch—just as it has within me. From his place in heaven, I know he watches over us, proud of the seeds of kindness and compassion he planted, which continue to grow and flourish.
Thank you, Dad, for everything. I honor you, and I carry your legacy forward with love and pride.
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